Let me just start by saying that I am a very lucky, lucky woman. I understand that some mom’s do not get “a break.” Whether this be from their children or just in general from their everyday responsibilities. I am so, so aware of this. I have thankfully had either my mother who would take the kids on Mondays every week or my in-laws who would hang with the kids while I wanted to get out and now I have a nanny three days a week which is a pretty big deal because I had always been one of those mothers who felt like “NO! I can’t do that! I have to do it all and I can do it all!” Until i burnt myself out and just was going absolutely crazy. Joey pushed me and told me “it’s okay and you deserve a break. Also, I deserve to see you…ALONE!” haha! So yes, we have a nanny.
I also understand that not all moms want or need a break. That is cool too. Look, I understand every edge of this situation. I used to not want or need a break. I wanted all my time with my baby and if she was asleep then I could feel guilt free/want to spend time with my husband but I discovered after having my second how much it was hurting (SPECIFICALLY) our relationship and how sad it actually made me to not spend time with Joey as much. I wanted to, I just had this undeniable urge to keep Aubrey with me always and that meant he had to be second ALWAYS which is hard for a spouse. Honestly, I can’t even imagine as I am very much in the #Queenstatuszone when it comes to my husband. Every mom is different and some of my closest mom friends really encouraged me to break away and get some me time and also some me and hubby time. This was good for me! If it’s not for you, like I said, do you boo and keep rocking your life! Some friends also judged me for having these “breaks” or we’re upset that I was able to get them and they weren’t. I’m sure they are judging me harder now that it isn’t a trusted grandparent but a nanny but my latest mantra of “I don’t give any fucks” is really working for me so that’s that.
She comes on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. Usually on those days I am relaxing whether it be with the kids while she cleans up and helps me with random things or at Starbucks writing without the kids or at the movies/dinner/shopping/whatever with Joey. This is such an amazing thing because 1) I get to have a break 2) I come home/get to experience a clean house without the effort (ha!) 3) get to spend time with Joey one on one and recharge my mumming abilities and 4) I get to put some time in for myself doing something that I love and being able to solely focus that without doing what Im doing right now which is watching my kids run up and down a hall in Central Square while sitting at an outside table in Starbucks…. Not that I mind that all the time but sometimes it is nice to put on a pair of headphones, drink a latte and get shit flowing without having to focus on anything or anyone else but myself. As I stated above, sometimes I do just stay home and snuggle with my kids and ms. Ana will spend her day either cleaning up and doing things that aren’t done everyday like cleaning the aircons or the bathrooms or whatever and this is cool because I can be completely present without worrying like, “oh, i really needed to do this today right!?” Another amazing thing that I really didn’t think about before was that my kids LOVE her! This is awesome because it gives them someone else to play with when they are “bored” of me. They have a playmate who is completely devout to them and is there to give her full attention. There are times when they are allowed NO TV time. Sometimes this lasts for weeks and yet ms.Ana has no problems with this. She will literally take them down to the pool and spend hours there, I’m talking from 12PM to 6PM! That is awesome.
We spend the majority of our date days at the movie theaters. We both love movies and since they aren’t super expensive here it is a good way to spend some time together. We also use these “date days” for errands such as immigration, doctor appointments, bill paying, grocery shopping, etc. I have also been using them for yoga days, nail days, waxing days, etc which is just the best haha! I think that we are also going to try and start taking some boxing classes/working out at the gym together on those days as well! Do you and your significant other do “date days?” Was it hard to leave baby or do you have someone completely trust worthy to watch them? That was hard for me.. Trust, haha! Let me know! I’d love to hear about your experiences. Also if you have any questions about having a nanny while in another country or expat living please, comment!!
Thanks for reading!